Friday, May 29, 2009

Thank God For My Family!!

It's Friday night and it's been a hell of a week. I don't know if I've ever, in my life, had a week that was more of an emotional roller coaster. I'm exhausted, but really there isn't time to be exhausted or to feel down for too long. Coming home from work, I am quickly reminded that at 5 and 6 my kids don't even think about what kind of a day or week I've had. They are just happy I'm home. The noise hurts my head, but the energy, smiles and excitement at my return lifts my heart and soul. Before I know it, my headache is gone and I forget, momentarily, the things weighing heavily on my mind and heart are nonexistant. What a blessing my family is!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Seriously??? 45!!!!

So today is my 45th birthday and I'm wondering how did that happen???? It sounds so much older than my brain feels. My body on the other hand feels about 55. I had a physical yesterday and the nurse practitioner used words like "osteoporosis" and "menopause" and I turned around to see to whom she was talking. Those aren't issues for me, they are barely issues for my mother. Is it because my kids are little and not ready to graduate high school that I feel like I'm not really in my mid 40's? While lots of my friends were having babies and raising toddlers, I was going to law school, traveling to the Caribbean and Europe. Now their kids are heading to college and I'm planning tea parties for 5 year old girls. And I feel like I'm the same age as the other moms, the ones in their 30's. But I'm not and my body tells me that every day. Yet, I when I stop to ponder the miracle that my life has been, I think I need to quit bitching about the aches and pains and be thankful I am here today to enjoy the blessings of my life. But, in those thankful moments, I still wonder; seriously? 45? How DID that happen???

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Will Spring EVER come??

It's snowing again tonight. Technically it's only been winter since December 21. A mere 3 weeks. It feels like a lifetime. We've had over 6 feet of snow in that 3 weeks and there are more than 2 full months until the calendar says "Spring".

People are tired, and cranky and even one guy shot a gun at a someone plowing the other day. Kind of reminds me of Ice Storm '96. Patience was hard to find. So I'm wondering if we have become a soft society. Longing for things to be easy. Sure the roads are reduced to half, drive times have doubled, there are no sidewalks, no parking and getting stuck is more common than not. But, we have heat, we have our cars, we can zip to the grocery store. I'm having a hard time imagining what this type of winter would have been like 100 years ago. When the toilet was outside, a home was 2 rooms if you were lucky and heated by one stove. It didn't matter how deep the snow, or cold the temperature, the animals had to be fed and you hung on to a rope that led to the barn for fear of being lost in the blizzard raging outside. People were hearty back then. People also died a lot younger than they do now. But still, when I think about how much worse it could be I try to limit the grousing and be thankful I was born in 1964 not 1864.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

God's Perfection

The amazing amount of snow we've received in the last week has made routine travel a chore. Drive times are double because 4 lanes are now two, 2 lanes are now one. This leaves a lot of time for reflection. Today, as I was in bumper to bumper traffic that would make LA proud I was thinking about the family member who declared this week "I don't believe in God!"

I am so saddened by this lack of belief that to me it represents a lack of hope. All kinds of thoughts come to mind, like prove God doesn't exist and if you don't believe what are you celebrating this time of year?

And then, in the middle of this angst, I looked at my window and saw the most beautiful snowflake fall on to the glass. It was spectacular. So delicate and fragile and I knew that at any moment it would melt and be gone. I saw another, and another and took note of the differences in each. They say no two snowflakes are alike. It's true, I didn't see one that was exactly like the other. This thought led me, in my stream of consciousness thinking, to people and how no two are alike, and that we are born at all is a miracle in itself. Suddenly, there were miracles all around me and I thought such perfection can only exist where God does. These things aren't random coincidences, to believe so shows a lack of hope and that a reliance on future coincidence is essential to the good things in life. Things could get better, but might not. But if we believe in God, we have hope. Hope in life, hope in death, hope that today's disappointments will become tomorrow's blessings.

The blessings in my life, my health, my family, my friends, my career are all the result of a loving God and the gifts He has given me. Some of these blessings didn't happen the way I wanted, but they happened at the moment they were supposed to, in God's time. . . . . absolute perfection!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Why are the holidays so crazy??

The last week has been just crazy. Every board I'm on had their year end meeting, the kids Christmas programs are this week, the last day of school before vacation is Friday, my shopping isn't done and I'm trying to figure out when I'll have the time to make gifts for the teachers.

All of this got me thinking: The holidays are supposed to be about family, reflection, blessings, giving and I'm feeling like there aren't enough hours in the day to do what needs to be done. Rarely is there a time during the year that feels as hectic as this last month. Why is that? Why is there so much pressure to do so much. Why do we cram a year's worth of cards, gift giving, volunteer work and love into 25 days.

Seems like all we do between Thanksgiving and Christmas should be done throughout the year. My dad asked me recently "Why do most charities send out their fundraising letters at this time of year when everyone is spending their money on other things?" I think it is the one time of year that people really think about those less fortunate and are more likely to give than any other time of the year. But wouldn't it be great if every month was like December? Not the craziness that occurs, but the love, kindness and giving that happens? Imagine what that would be like. Awesome!